I have several people whom I love dearly who are tormented souls. I wrote this letter to one of them in the Adoration chapel last night. I just removed the names to give them the respect they deserve. But, I want to share this with you, as well. These souls in our lives need us tremendously. Let us do everything in our power to intercede for them...
Good morning. I was praying for you in Adoration last night after I got off the phone with M. She mentioned that you are in a dark place and S told me the same thing a few weeks ago. M told me you stopped receiving Communion. She said you feel unworthy, because that's the message you keep hearing. Anyway, I was just going to pray for you, but I felt like I was supposed to write you instead, so I spent my Holy Hour writing you...
I read a book called Unbound. It talked about understanding strategies of the enemy...What is his plan? What is the foundational lie? What areas of the person's life are being held in bondage? God has a plan for your life, which includes a life of peace, love, and joy. However, satan also has a plan for your life. If this is true, what do you think satan's plan for your life would look like?
I have a guess. You would hate your job. You would hate too little free time. You would hate too much free time. You would hate yourself. You would isolate yourself from everyone who loves you. You would stop receiving the sacraments - Reconciliation and especially Communion. You would believe that your thoughts and sins are greater than God's capacity for love and mercy. You would believe that the devil's power is greater than God's power. You would believe that your life would be better or more fulfilling, if only the circumstances were different. You would feel helpless and hopeless.
If this is true for you, it would seem that satan has the upper hand at the moment. The good news is that his gig is up when you hit the Confessional and receive the Body of Christ!
The devil is a liar. He will do anything in his power to keep you from Jesus' side and trusting in His mercy. "At the heart of satan's attack upon you in his attempt to rob you of your true identity and destiny. satan will do anything he can to keep you from knowing God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." (Neal Lozano in Unbound).
If you think you are the worst sinner in the world, Jesus has plenty to say about that, as St. Faustina recorded in her diary:
"Let the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy...I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify Him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice."
"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of My goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. You misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give Me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you treasures of My grace."
"Oh, soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy."
I think you can relate to what Thomas Merton writes of his own experience in The Seven Storey Mountain:
"But now I lay on this bed, full of gangrene, and my soul was rotten with the corruption of my sins. And I did not even care whether I died or lived. The worst thing that can happen to anyone in this life is to lose all sense of these realities...
What is more, there was nothing I could do for myself. There was absolutely no means, no natural means within reach, for getting me out of that state. Only God could help me. Who prayed for me? One day I shall know. But, in the economy of God's love, it is through the prayers of other men that these graces were given. It was through the prayers of someone who loved God that I was, one day, to be delivered out of that hell where I was already confined without knowing it."
I love you. I am that person praying for you. So is M, D, M, and S. You have lots of someones through which you will be delivered out of that hell where you are already confined without knowing it.
Please go to Confession and receive the Eucharist. We can pray for the rest.
I love you and I want to spend eternity with you, and that means that satan does not get his way.
Peace and Much Love,
Heidi Ann
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